The Scarlet Thread 7: Variations on a Gray Theme pt 1

A long, long time ago, I worked at a music box store. We had each music chamber labelled according to the song title and often had to abbreviate them so they would fit on this teeny tag. One of my favorites was a classical tune called Variations on a Theme (which I never knew the name of until I worked there). On the tag we wrote, "Var on a The," because that's all the space we had. Enough to identify it.

There was a girl who worked with us and she was a real sweetheart, kind, mild and pretty-but a bit of a ditsy print. A couple came in to pick out a song and a box for wedding party gifts, and she ran to assist them. The next thing I hear is her saying, "well, let's see, we have this nice one called...ummm.. uh...var on a the." I tried so hard to keep my composure, I really really did, but whaaaat? The customers stared at her with blank awkwardness. I mean they were confused as to whether or not they should be confused. After all, isn't it completely declasse not to be a classical tunes connoisseur in a specialty store? Or at least carry a flush of embarrassment as one remains poised as a banana while backwardly admitting one's lack of astuteness, "Pardon me, I'm not familiar with 'var on a the,' and whom would be the composer of it?"

Then they zoomed in on the tag to see what was written and didn't say a word. These people just wanted a classy song screwed into a classy keepsake to express their gratitude for friends and family in a classy way on their special day. Instead, they got pink cheeks and a lesson in how to ask if you're unsure before you assume. We all know what happens with that. And it did.

Now didn't this put me in a precarious predicament. Wanting to save face for everyone, but not wanting to "out" anyone, I didn't know if I should throw them the life-preserver of the real title or mind my own sales business. I felt for myself splashing in a puddle of embarrassment. I felt for them, watching them try to figure out if they were the ones out of the know. I also felt for my poor coworker who just stood there smiling, clueless, innocently awaiting their decision: Is var on a the to be or not to be? I finally chimed in with a nonchalant, "I think the full title of that is Variations on a Theme," so as not to mortify my coworker but alleviate the growing discomfort of all present. And var on a the was to be. But in it's proper stating. I got to be the unsung hero and save the gift-giving day. I prefer to think I took no pause in preventing the humiliating outbreak of a whole bunch of little var on a the's from running rampant around rehearsal dinner like a bad bride rumor. Even if no one ever knew the song to begin with. Like regular me. And my consoled coworker. And the highly satisfied customers whom could now claim themselves privy to classical music knowledge such as the correct pronunciation of a piece: "Why, yes, Victoria Pendleton, that would be 'Variations on a Theme,' you know, of course you know...by Johannes Brahms?"

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As promised, I have a few ensembles grounded with gray to show you. I decided to present them seasonally, as that is most practical. That way I do not bombard you with gray and you can actually remember what you saw rather than have gray overkill and forget half the minute you click away. First up Spring:

Celery green and teal-my shoes buried in the grass there are teal pointy toe pumps-